I’m finding it’s a fine line between wanting be seen as “normal” or just like everybody else, and wanting my differences and challenges acknowledged.

I don’t want myself or my kids to be looked down upon or pitied, but I do want the reality of our autism and ADHD to be appreciated and not ignored. Our life may never look like other families’, and that’s okay. It is what it is. It’s what makes us unique, which I love.

Just because we are excellent maskers and look “typical” or whatever, doesn’t mean what’s going on underneath isn’t incredibly challenging. To do regular everyday things often feels like a chore.

Just doing the dishes feels like a huge mountain to climb. Taking a shower can feel arduous and exhausting, especially to my kids. Cleaning up anything really can just take everything in me. Even meal planning or thinking about what to eat when is a huge mental load.

I definitely need people to realize we aren’t like them, truly. For my son especially, life as an adult may be more challenging than for others. But it may not be! The point is, I won’t live in denial about it, though, and just say “no, he’ll be fine.”

We’re working really hard to help him be able to be independent and have a great life, so hopefully he will be just fine. But we just can’t know.

I’d also love for people to really get how much work physically and mentally it is to have to care for three AuDHD children while both parents have the same diagnoses. We really can’t live as others may. Life – just living – is too exhausting to function some days.

But I wouldn’t change it for anything. I only hope the world could understand our struggles and not belittle them. We need to help one another rise up, not push them closer to the ground.


One response to “Understanding”

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