One-on-One Support

I’ve never cried during an IEP before today.

Today we spoke with my twins’ principal and teacher about how they’re doing so far.

And it’s not awesome.

Our son is essentially regressing this year, to the point where we need to hire him his own support person in class. I never thought this would happen. He’d been doing so well.

But this year has been such a challenge so far. He’s the smartest guy I know, but he barely even cares about his academics right now. He’s a math whiz, and that barely interests him at school.

We are so lucky his school is amazing. It’s small and arts focused and they adore him, so I know everything they say and suggest comes from a place of love and care.

I’m just scared for his future. Will he ever be able to live alone? Will he need a helper until he graduates? In post secondary? Will he date? Will he work? Thankfully, he does have friends, but I worry even that could change if his behaviours don’t get better.

I’m trying not to project these worries onto him. That’s why I’m sharing them here.

I want him to get to be the best person he can be. I want him to reach his full potential, and hopefully this is at least one way we can do that.

Having two other autistic children, and being autistic myself, managing his needs has been like a full-time job. One that I feel like I’m failing at sometimes. Deep down, I know we’re doing our best, but it still doesn’t feel like it’s enough. Like it’s ever going to be enough.

I’m hoping we will find him the right tools to help him be as successful as he can be. I know he’ll do great things and I’m so lucky I get to be his mom. He does give the best hugs, after all.

5 responses to “One-on-One Support”

Jared

October 26, 2022 at 2:41 pm

Nothing wrong with the one on one support. I’m confused as to why the school is saying you have to hire the support? Shouldn’t the school be providing that? He could grow out of it too, it could be a stage in his life too, things could just be difficult. I hope the school is supporting him, especially since it is a small, private school, they should be supporting him and have the ability to support him one on one. And having gone through many IEP meetings, I know that in high school not many kids get one on one support and most do ok, I am sure he’ll be fine, he’s definitely smart enough. His behaviour will get better (if that’s the issue)

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1. Shayna Kershaw
  
  October 26, 2022 at 3:46 pm
  
  I know it’ll be okay, but I still worry. Kids don’t get one on one support really. His class has two EAs, but they deal with a bunch of kids. He doesn’t have his own person. It could be a stage, for sure. I’m worried it’s not because this came up in grade 1, as well, but we’ll see.
  
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Shante Sidhu

October 26, 2022 at 8:11 pm

Without trying to minimize your issue, I will say that motherhood is fraught with these worries for our kids. Just remember that your son has his people that love him dearly, and because of that he is already miles ahead of where many other neurotypical kids are. The traditional life is not for everyone and it is a false expectation that we have that everyone has to enjoy dating, hanging out on a Friday night , living independently etc. Every person if given the choice would pick something different to do. Maybe he will have a greater level of fulfilment and happiness than someone living the “typical” life. Just my 2 cents. He is lucky to have a mom like you!!!!!❤️

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1. Shayna Kershaw
  
  October 26, 2022 at 8:19 pm
  
  Thank you so much for sharing your perspective. It’s so true. It’s just hard when he’s struggling not to worry about his future. And you’re right, he is lucky to have so many people that love him so much. It helps he has a huge heart, too. ❤
  
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Deborah

October 28, 2022 at 5:50 pm

💚

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