It’s that time of year again, where tons of fun family activities are happening. And we end up watching from the sidelines.

Yesterday the kids participated in “Thrill the World,” which was fun, but our son couldn’t stop distracting his twin the entire time. It was only a five minute dance and he couldn’t focus. Despite that, they did all have fun.

But there are so many other things we could do. And I feel guilty for not doing them.

The want to give my kids an amazing childhood is strong. But the desire to stay calm and sane and not run out of spoons is stronger most days.

As I watch my friends on Facebook or Instagram share their family escapades, all I can do is be happy for them while feeling envious deep down. Why can’t my family go do “normal” things? What would that be like?

The stress of going and doing these “fun” things oftentimes outweighs the enjoyment that is had unfortunately. So we end up missing out.

All of these things just help to make me feel that much more different than everyone else. It’s like a reminder that life is just a little bit harder for us.

Thankfully I don’t think our kids feel like they miss out much. That’s just me really.

Despite not doing what everyone else is, we still have fun as a family. Going and cheering each other on at hockey or watching them do one of their many performances at their amazing school or binge watching all the Marvel movies together.

Our life is still rewarding and full and so very busy, even if it looks different than I envisioned before becoming a parent, or compared to others. I try and remind myself of this fact when I get down on myself.

Everyone’s family is different and I need to keep embracing mine.